In today’s feature article I take a look at the performance of our very own Reds during the recent European Championships. Its been a cracking tournament and a great showcase for our Scouseglactico's. Spain’s victory was a triumph for LFC and something all Scousers can be proud of. Thanks to Rafa's talent spotting prowess we now have 5 European Champions in our ranks and they will definitely help instil a winning mentality amongst the other players. Consequently it looks like the season to come will be one of the most successful in Liverpool Football Club's great history.
Dirk Kuyt-
Arguably the best defensive striker in the world and heart-beat of the Dutch national team. Just like Holland pioneered “total football” Kuyt has revolutionised the role of the modern day striker. He used to bang in 30 goals as a season, but who needs goals when you’re the best defensive striker in the world? Rafa deserves credit for converting Kuyt from a prolific striker into a world class talent worthy of a spot in this years Euro 2008 team of the tournament. It’s a pity Kuyts international team mates (such as Van Horseface) didn’t show the same passion and determination demonstrated by the duracell bunny esque Kuyt. He certainly silenced his doubters, especially the hordes of Manc armchair fans who continually deny the blonde haired vikings brilliance. Undoubted player of the tournament.
10/10
Fernando Torres-
What else is there to say about El Nino? To put it simply he’s the best player in the world, proven on the biggest stage and will deservedly get the World Player of the Year Award. The only threat will come from Fergies Mafia who are bound to intimidate FIFA officials into making a disgusting and immoral decision. Hopefully they will stand up to Fergie as it would be a travesty if Cristiano “The Minnow basher” Ronaldo scoops the award. Torres made Ronaldo look like a shower of shite during the competition demonstrating his brilliant finishing in the games when it mattered, whilst in comparison Ronaldo struggled to make an impact against international class defenders. BPITW (best player in the world). Torres>Kuyt>Ronaldo.
9.5/10
Phil Degen-
The Swiss press couldn’t believe his absence from Switzerland’s opening two games and Phil ultimately suffered from the inept management of Kobi Khunt. According to reports Deggen was a revelation in training, demonstrating his world class potential; yet another defensive gem unearthed by Rafa. Due to Deggens absence the Swiss team slumped to two early defeats sealing their early exit from the tournament. In retort eighteenfive initiated the highly acclaimed “Justice for Deggen” Campaign, receiving huge backing from thousands of True Reds in the form of an online petition. With this support eighteenfive successfully lobbied the Swiss Football Associaton and Deggen was given an opportunity to shine in Switzerland’s final match against Portugal. Phil produced a sublime performance inspiring the Swiss to an emphatic 2-0 victory over the cheating Portuguese (Nani and Ronaldo), showing Brazillian-esque attacking flair and defensive ability reminiscent of the great Franco Baresi. Deggen plays and Switzerland win….coincidence? I don’t think so- well done eighteenfive and well done Phil. A fine addition to the Premier Leagues best defence; nice one Rafa, you're a genius.
8.5/10
David Villa-
The Torres Villa partnership will set the Premier League alight. No one will be able to match our firepower up front. We now have two 40 goal a season strikers who will tear the likes of Rio and the Serbian mass murderer to shreds. We could well see Kuyty playing in a far more advanced role this season. The Villa-Torres-Kuyt or “holy trinity” is truly mouth-watering prospect and will be the final step to Premier League dominance. According to our inside sources, Villa has already agreed personal terms and the deal will be complete shortly after we receive funds from Peter Crouch’s sale. The tournaments top scorer, but slightly overshadowed by Nandos man of the match performance in the final.
9/10
Pepe Reina-
Cassilas is a top class keeper and had decent tournament but should he of started in front of Pepe? I don’t think so! Sadly Pepe has to contend with Aragoneses bias towards home based Spanish players resulting in Casillas getting the nod (take Fabregas as another example). Pepe has proven season after season that he is the best Goalkeeper in the Premier League putting in some sterling big game perfomances. Surely another flawless performance in the best defence in the world this season (along with some shiny cups) will see Reina take the number 1 jersey for his national team?
8/10
Xabi Alonso-
Convinced the ref to give the match Ball to David Villa after his hatrick vs Russia- a real touch of Scouse class. The Spanish midfield maestro looks set for Juventus in a £18 million deal. It will be sad to see Xavi leave but we can console ourselves with the arrival of Garry Barry, who looks a suitable World Class replacement and as a bonus is Stevie G's bingo buddy.
7.5/10
Alvaro Arbeloa-
Limited chances but proved his class when called upon. Sadly he will find it hard to compete with Deggers for the right back spot. According to sources Barcelona are preparing a £9 Million+ bid to bring him back to Spain where he will compete with Dani Alves for a first team place. Another great bit of business by Rafa.
7/10
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18 comments:
FUCKING BOSS!
Only 9 for tbpitw? 11 surely?
Good news on Villa there but is there any news on Kaka or do you think we might have to wait another season?
Looks like it will be next season m8. Hes already said he wants to come to Liverpool one day, but with the fucking Yanks strangling Rafa's budget we might have to wait a bit.
Torres was amazing, but in my eyes Kuyt was the BPOTT and deserves the perfect 10 just to himself.
Rich
deluded scouse muppets. lost for words. kuyt 10/10 fucking scouse pricks
Scorat is back :)
My humble request to please post my following article on the blog .. a la uncle collin's in the past
Breaking News:
Merseyside clubs’ new kits to include permanent black armbands
LIVERPOOL AND Everton have unveiled their hi-tech new shirts for the upcoming season, which will each incorporate a permanent black armband.
At a star-studded launch, an Adidas spokesmen said the new kits had been designed to "reflect the city's proud tradition of disproportionately prolonged post-death moping," as Scouse luminaries Sir Paul McCartney, Stig Inge Bjørnebye, and Sinbad from Brookside listened in the audience.
Incorporating revolutionary Perma-Mourn™ technology, the groundbreaking black armbands ensure that players feel exactly the same level of sadness as the average Scouser does on a day-to-day basis.
Speaking at the launch. Everton’s Mikel Arteta said: "Finally I will know the true meaning of what it is to be a Scouser. I think it's great. Well it's not great, obviously, it's a very tragic time and our thoughts are with all of the parents, everywhere, forever."
The 'Cilla', as the black armband is affectionately known to Liverpudlian football fans, was hailed as a great innovation by the head of Liverpool's Union of Genial Humour. "Most importantly, it's what Maddie would have wanted," said the Union leader through his manly tears.
Another unique new feature was unveiled specifically for Steven Gerrard's kit, a specially-designed microchip implanted into the fabric of the shirt. Every time the midfielder is fouled, a tiny speaker will shout "Justice for the 96!" in the hope that referees will be guilt-tripped into awarding 30 per cent more penalties to the home side at Anfield.
If the new advancements are a success, manufacturers are planning to offer similar technology to the clubs when they build their new stadiums in the city. To transfer the unique atmosphere of the Kop to the new Anfield, Liverpool will fit every seat with a sepia-toned cushion so that fans looking out onto the pitch can remember what it was like when they ruled Europe.
Meanwhile Everton fans will be given cutting edge glasses with their tickets, which aim to replicate watching the Toffees in the Eighties by obliterating all non-Caucasian players from the wearer's field of vision.
You Now Wank Alone
morons
Great article Scouse Rich and great article Scorat. I will think about posting it later this week. For now I don't want to bump Scouse Rich's article off the the top of the page.
As for Uncle Colin has anyone heard from him? I wonder how he's doing with is study scholarship in the US?
Its a good article but im afraid Borat didnt write it. Its from a well known Fanzine. So unless borat works for them, hes taking undeserved credit.
Im sure Uncle Colin is doing great over in America. He'll be a great represntative of the Scouse nation. Maybe hecan have a word with Gillette and Hicks whiles hes over there?
I'm now convinced more than ever that this is a wind-up because I know Liverpool fans have a tendancy to be deluded but even this blog takes the biscuit, no Liverpool fan could be THIS deluded, especially when giving Kuyt 10/10, an obvious wind-up. Well done lads, keep up the good work mocking the Dippers, it's funny.
Did you actually watch the euros? Kuyt was the engine room of Hollands attack and finally proved to his doubters what a top talent he has. He wasnt in UEFA's team of the tournament for no reason.
The only thing this blog is winding up is you deluded mancs. Can't wait till Rafa wipes the smirk of Fergies Red nosed face. Just you wait.
Rich
Great review. Glad to see an honest and accurate appraisal after putting up with the anti-liverpool rubbish spouted by the BBC. All they go on about is Man u this, Man u that....makes me sick!!
when did you sign Villa?!! DELUDED!
I am Scorat and not Borat :(
BTW .. yeah .. me too came across a fanzine that had my article .. I am sure its one of the exploits of Fergie's mafia to select the good comments from this gr8 red blog and to plagiarize and use on some other fanzine as their own ...I am sure ScouseRich/Dave will unearth that plot as well through their journalism .. I have gr8 hope .. as they say hope dies last :)
You Now Wank/Whine Alone !
LMFAO
YOU ARE SCOUSE MUPPETS OF THE HIGHEST ORDER. I PITY YOU ANDYOUR EUROPEAN CAPITAL OF SHIT.
this blog is class keep it up
youre more deluded than the jawdees!
keep it up kopshites
1 = 20
Youll Never Wear Cologne
Herr E.Minge
ah yes.....5 european champions....no premier league champions tho..... who will ya murder to win that one eh?
alrite alrite calm down calm down....dont get ya trackies and ya trainers in a mess likee.....
and as for signing kaka?? youve more chance of getting ronaldinho, ronaldo and rooney to play for your pathetic excuse for a club than you do kaka......
Deluded Fuckwits
Kuyt was the only weak link in that Dutch side. all he does is some running here and there.
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