Monday, March 2, 2009

FUCK BOLLOCKS!!1!

Friday, August 8, 2008

The early bird catches the worm

http://nineteensix.blogspot.com/

Get in.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Open Discussion: Degen Vs Rafael Da Silva

eighteenfive has been inundated with emails from plastic manc fans bragging about some kid who has played a couple of preseason games against shite teams for them, most claiming they now have the BYRBPITW (Best Young Right Back Prospect In The World).


Now, eighteenfive's mantra is to produce and promote factual, non biased opinion, and debate. So I'm going to hand it over to you the readers.

I would just like to add that watch the games for yourself and don't trust the manc loving media's ratings. They gave him 8/10 for both games. You can take 2 points of for him being a United player and 2 points of for him being Brazilian.

I have watched the games and think he could probably get to the same level as Eboue for Arsenal but isn't a scratch on our Deggers who is clearly faster and has a better technique. His achievement of being named as the right back in the Euro2008 team of the tournament is testament to that.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Nice one lads / News roundup

Just got back from Glasgow after the 4-0 demolition of Rangers. Our away fans as usual were boss and the players responded putting in a top notch performance and another warning of intent to our Premier League rivals. Ngog lived up to his "wonderkid" tag and indeed looked like Thierry Henry mark II, only with more pace. We also got our first glimpse of the Torres and Keane partnership. Rafa's done it again! Their interplay was breathtaking at times and the usually solid Rangers defence simply couldn’t handle their pace, movement and desire.

This quality banner (above) caught my eye. Fucking LOL- pure class. Pity the Gers didn’t take it even further and burn the whole piece of shit city down. Try harder next time. Fucking Mancs.

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In other news Sebastian Leto has been denied a work permit. This is an absolutely fucking outrage. Along with Lucas, the lad is easily one of the top 5 prospects in world football and last season he was knocking on the door of our first team. There’s no way the DWP (Department of Work and Pensions) panel should of rejected his permit as he easily meets all the required criteria, particularly the "exceptional talent" rule. Its pretty clear that there’s something sinister at large and you can bet Fergies Mafia has something to do with it.

Looks like corrupt Old' Wiskey Nose is pulling out all the stops to prevent us from clearing up the silverware this season. But his attempts will be futile, making our inevitable league win even more satisfying. In fact it will surely be the greatest achievement in EPL history because of the unjust/corrupt handicaps Liverpool FC have to constantly deal with.

Finally, it looks like we will be completing the £15 Garry "the last piece in the jigsaw" Barry transfer in the next few days. It’s been a messy affair and RAWK in particular has been flooded with delusional Villa fans moaning about us trying to "poach" their Captain. To put it simply, there’s always a bigger fish- in this case the biggest football team in the world. Who can blame Garry for simply wanting to fulfil a dream shared by all professional footballers!?

Theres also been a few rumours circulating that Arsenal are interested in Xabi Alonso. Its probably just speculation, but it theres any truth in it, Arsene Wenger can fuck right off.

-Scouse Rich

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Benitez signs his Cantona

Liverpool supporters across the world are celebrating to the news that LFC have signed one of the world's top strikers, Robbie Keane from Tottenham Hotspurs, for a bargain basement price of £18 million.

The news has send shockwaves through the camps of Arsenal, Chelsea and particularly Manchester United who have suffered a double blow, now knowing there's no chance that they'll land Berbatov this summer.


It was a clever move by Benitez who new exactly what he was doing. With Liverpool landing two world-class wide men in Dossena and Degen and the new Henry in Ngog from PSG, he new that all we needed was Robbie Keane from Spurs. Real Madrid and Chelsea were also in the hunt, but Keane himself a Liverpool supporter as a boy, was left with little choice but to join Liverpool the 2008/2009 league favourites and the best team as decided by UEFA since 2003.


In Keane Benitez has found his "Cantona". His final piece of the jigsaw puzzle.......

Monday, July 28, 2008

Let's all laugh at stupid - Tevez £42 million, LOL

Manchester United manager Sir Idiot has announced that Manchester United will sign average striker Carlos Tevez on a four year deal worth £32 Million. Giving the fact that United have already paid £10 million for his services so far, it takes this astonishing deal to £42 million pounds.

To put this is perspective, this is twice as much as we paid for Euro2008 player of the tournament Fernando Torres.

Tevez will sign the deal next week, with his agent, who will collect the entire fee, laughing all the way to some dodgy Swiss bank.

Given the fact that most foreign players view United as nothing more than stepping stone to join big clubs like Real Madrid and Liverpool then Fergie's faith in Tevez, a former street knife fighter, is truly unbelievable.

We all know what happened to the last Argie he signed.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Benitez to sign fourth galactico of the summer

Rumours flying about at the moment is that Liverpool FC genius Rafa Benitez has made a £1.5million bid for PSG supremo David Ngog.

The 19 year old is known in France as the "New Henry" and if he turns out to half as good then Rafa has found a bargain of a life time.

Last season our critics suggested that we were weak on the flanks and that Torres needed a partner. With Dossena and Degen solving the wing issues, Benitez has now gone out and fixed the other problem.

Ngog will form a ruthless partnership with Torres and will deliver the Premiership to Anfield next summer.

I think we'll look back on Summer '08 in a few years and remember it as the summer where we really turned the corner.

It's on.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Sammy Lee gets it.

Liverpool legend Sir Sammy Lee fired a warning shot across the bow of Manchester United, Chelsea and Arsenal yesterday by claiming: "We're going to tear you a new arsehole"



"They are three very good teams. Only results will prove whether I'm right
or wrong, but I feel that we need to be looking to be not just as good as, but
better than those three.

"We just need that little stroke of luck, that little attention to detail,
and you never know."We are not that far away and I feel we have proven on many
occasions over the past four or five years that we can be better than them. Not
as good as - but better."

"Only time will tell, but what I will say is that everyone is striving and
working hard to try and make sure that we can close that gap and overhaul
it".


Sammy's comments are refreshing. It's about time we saw someone involved with the club display this kind of confident attitude in the press, It's been years. With the additions of World-class signings like Degen, Dossena and Cavalieri, and having four Euro2008 winners we should be fucking confident.

Sammy also hits the nail on the head by saying we need luck. Scum have had their fair share over the last 16 years but it won't last forever. If you carefully examine facts you will see that we are a more consistent team than them and more consistent than any other club in Europe.

The UEFA coefficients are based on consistency and we are top of that league with UEFA, in May this year, awarding us the prize of the greatest team in Europe over the last half a decade. This is no small feat.

The other thing that Sammy knows and many are not aware of is that last year, if we beat Manchester United in the league both home and away, we would have won the bloody thing. With Sir Sammy on board, a player who won it all, we win have that spark in the change room for this fixture now, something we didn't have with Pako. He will fire the players up no end and give them confidence to go out at both Anfield and Old Toilet and give the cunts the hiding of their lives.

If I were scotchnose I'd be shaking in my boots right now. Rafa has gone out and found his number one, the final piece of the jigsaw, whilst Fergie is left rudderless by the departure of Carlos Queeroz, with no one wanting to fill that gap and work under the tyranny of football's great oppressor.

Well done Sammy, hopefully your attitude will give players like Gerrard and Carragher the confidence to come out and proclaim that we are title favourites as well. It would mean so much to the other players and fans, all of whom know that this year is our year.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Scouse Rich on vacation

Dear eighteenfive Readers,

Im off to Panama for a couple of weeks to preparation for the opening of eighteenfives first ever Megastore.

Take care and enjoy the sunshine. You'll never walk alone.

Scouse Rich

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Deggers scoops fans award

In our recent “player of Euro 2008” poll eighteenfives viwers voted Phillip Degen as top dog. Myself and Stevie will be presenting a signed, framed, eighteenfive t-shirt to Phil in Switzerland tonight, prior to Liverpools televised friendly against FC Lucerne (18.30, Channel 5).


The flying Swiss right back faced tough competition from fellow Scouseglacticos Torres and Kuyt, but suprisingly emerged the clear winner. The handsome pin-up-boys entrance into the Euros was stupidly delayed due to inept management from Khunt. But when the lad was finally given his chance (after eighteenfive successfully lobbied the SFA) he produced a scintillating attacking display whilst also demonstrating rock solid defending, inspiring the Swiss to a emphatic 2-0 win against a full strength Portuguese team featuring latin slaveboy Cristiano Gonealdo.


In addition to the limited edition eighteenfive t-shirt, we also have the honour of delivering Phil with a written explanation from the Swiss Football Association apologizing for his farcical absence from Switzerland’s first 2 group games. The document also contains assurances that Kobi Khunt will be removed fro his position in the near future.


It looks like we have another world class player on our books and yet again its down to the brilliance of Rafa and his talent spotting prowess. While one of our rivals spends upwards of £28million on a greasy, over-the-hill striker, we can rely on Rafa to continue the steady influx of footballing bargains. With Dossena and Degen flying down the flanks the service to our strikers will be reminiscent of the 1970 Brazilian World Cup team. We already have the best footballing "spine" in the business, and now we have the width to match.


Eighteenfves readers certainly know their onions and Degen undoubtedly deserves this accolade. Well done Phil! Deggers is already proving his worth in the LFC setup and he starred in the 1-0 mauling of Tranmere Rovers last week. Phil will definitely have a glittering career at Fortress Anfield and this triumph will be the first of many.


In other news Rafa has completed the signing of Brazilian goalkeeping sensation Diego Cavalieri, who is officially ranked the best Goalkeeper outside of Europe. Liverpool beat of competition from Spanish giants Barcelona and Real Madrid for his signature and earlier this week he put pen to paper on a £3million pound deal. This signing will allow Rafa to offload England #1 Scott Carson for around £8 Million pounds. These funds will then be used to fund the signing of Athletico Madrids Argentinean wonderkid, Sergio Aguero, a life-long Liverpool fan a la Fernando Torres.


Scouse Rich- reporting from Switzerland

Let's all laugh at Manchester Shitnited.

Not only is overrated minnow blaster Ronaldo set to either miss the first two months or the season or leave for Real Madrid at a cut price of ten million pounds, but Rio "Jar-Jar" Ferdinand will be banned for kicking a female, yes female, steward.

Given that most mancs think that these two are the their most important players, then it's nothing short of a disaster for the scum who will struggle to keep place with ourselves and Chelsea who will come out of the starting blocks fast with new world class signings such as Degen, Deco, Dossena etc.

The mancs are also having trouble recruiting players and coaching staff. No one wants to board the sinking ship and there's a cue of players wanting get off.

You can't help but lol at the Shitchester. They really are the joke club of Europe. Does anyone take them seriously anymore?

On the other hand Fernando Torres has declared his love for Liverpool telling Gerrard he wants the armband.

Not much else to report at the moment.

Take care.

Scouse Dave.

Monday, July 7, 2008

EURO 2008: Reds Review



In today’s feature article I take a look at the performance of our very own Reds during the recent European Championships. Its been a cracking tournament and a great showcase for our Scouseglactico's. Spain’s victory was a triumph for LFC and something all Scousers can be proud of. Thanks to Rafa's talent spotting prowess we now have 5 European Champions in our ranks and they will definitely help instil a winning mentality amongst the other players. Consequently it looks like the season to come will be one of the most successful in Liverpool Football Club's great history.


Dirk Kuyt-

Arguably the best defensive striker in the world and heart-beat of the Dutch national team. Just like Holland pioneered “total football” Kuyt has revolutionised the role of the modern day striker. He used to bang in 30 goals as a season, but who needs goals when you’re the best defensive striker in the world? Rafa deserves credit for converting Kuyt from a prolific striker into a world class talent worthy of a spot in this years Euro 2008 team of the tournament. It’s a pity Kuyts international team mates (such as Van Horseface) didn’t show the same passion and determination demonstrated by the duracell bunny esque Kuyt. He certainly silenced his doubters, especially the hordes of Manc armchair fans who continually deny the blonde haired vikings brilliance. Undoubted player of the tournament.

10/10

Fernando Torres-

What else is there to say about El Nino? To put it simply he’s the best player in the world, proven on the biggest stage and will deservedly get the World Player of the Year Award. The only threat will come from Fergies Mafia who are bound to intimidate FIFA officials into making a disgusting and immoral decision. Hopefully they will stand up to Fergie as it would be a travesty if Cristiano “The Minnow basher” Ronaldo scoops the award. Torres made Ronaldo look like a shower of shite during the competition demonstrating his brilliant finishing in the games when it mattered, whilst in comparison Ronaldo struggled to make an impact against international class defenders. BPITW (best player in the world). Torres>Kuyt>Ronaldo.

9.5/10

Phil Degen-

The Swiss press couldn’t believe his absence from Switzerland’s opening two games and Phil ultimately suffered from the inept management of Kobi Khunt. According to reports Deggen was a revelation in training, demonstrating his world class potential; yet another defensive gem unearthed by Rafa. Due to Deggens absence the Swiss team slumped to two early defeats sealing their early exit from the tournament. In retort eighteenfive initiated the highly acclaimed “Justice for Deggen” Campaign, receiving huge backing from thousands of True Reds in the form of an online petition. With this support eighteenfive successfully lobbied the Swiss Football Associaton and Deggen was given an opportunity to shine in Switzerland’s final match against Portugal. Phil produced a sublime performance inspiring the Swiss to an emphatic 2-0 victory over the cheating Portuguese (Nani and Ronaldo), showing Brazillian-esque attacking flair and defensive ability reminiscent of the great Franco Baresi. Deggen plays and Switzerland win….coincidence? I don’t think so- well done eighteenfive and well done Phil. A fine addition to the Premier Leagues best defence; nice one Rafa, you're a genius.

8.5/10


David Villa-

The Torres Villa partnership will set the Premier League alight. No one will be able to match our firepower up front. We now have two 40 goal a season strikers who will tear the likes of Rio and the Serbian mass murderer to shreds. We could well see Kuyty playing in a far more advanced role this season. The Villa-Torres-Kuyt or “holy trinity” is truly mouth-watering prospect and will be the final step to Premier League dominance. According to our inside sources, Villa has already agreed personal terms and the deal will be complete shortly after we receive funds from Peter Crouch’s sale. The tournaments top scorer, but slightly overshadowed by Nandos man of the match performance in the final.

9/10

Pepe Reina-

Cassilas is a top class keeper and had decent tournament but should he of started in front of Pepe? I don’t think so! Sadly Pepe has to contend with Aragoneses bias towards home based Spanish players resulting in Casillas getting the nod (take Fabregas as another example). Pepe has proven season after season that he is the best Goalkeeper in the Premier League putting in some sterling big game perfomances. Surely another flawless performance in the best defence in the world this season (along with some shiny cups) will see Reina take the number 1 jersey for his national team?

8/10

Xabi Alonso-

Convinced the ref to give the match Ball to David Villa after his hatrick vs Russia- a real touch of Scouse class. The Spanish midfield maestro looks set for Juventus in a £18 million deal. It will be sad to see Xavi leave but we can console ourselves with the arrival of Garry Barry, who looks a suitable World Class replacement and as a bonus is Stevie G's bingo buddy.

7.5/10

Alvaro Arbeloa-

Limited chances but proved his class when called upon. Sadly he will find it hard to compete with Deggers for the right back spot. According to sources Barcelona are preparing a £9 Million+ bid to bring him back to Spain where he will compete with Dani Alves for a first team place. Another great bit of business by Rafa.

7/10

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Torres will surely win World Player of the Year?

Ronaldo has absolutely 0% chance of winning it due to his dismal performance in Euro 2008 and let’s face it; players who do well at major tournaments usually have a better chance than those who do not. Think 2002, when the more skilful Ronaldo won it, barely even playing a club game for the year.

The second reason why Ronaldo won’t win it and Torres will is because only one of them has proved that they can do it in the big games. Scoring in a Euro Final - you don’t get any bigger than that and is clearly a better achievement that scoring 42 goals against the likes of Derby County and Fulham.

Now you will get some clown manc (Bestie's Liver posting as anonymous most likely) come in here and argue that he scored against Chelsea in the European Cup final but that my friends is just bollocks. Firstly the goal shouldn’t have counted as Scholes was offside on the reverse pass to Brown and one thing the replays barely showed (Manc Biased Media) was Ronaldo shoving a hapless Micheal Essien in the back before heading the ball. Then there’s the little matter of him missing his penalty in the shootout, which clearly overshadows the illegal goal.

Torres may have some competition from Dirk Kuyt though who was Holland’s best performer of the tournament.

Congratulations Bestie's Liver

Poster of the month for June.

Well done Bestie, you've earned it posting over 140 times in the last month under various user names.

This blog just goes to show us scousers believe in free speech and the like. Unlike Mancs who won't even let scousers post on sites like Red Cafe.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Scouseglactico's fire Spain to Euro 2008 glory


Congratulatons to Spain for winning Euro 2008!

We may of finished this season trophyless (unjustly) but Spains victory is certainly an achievment all Liverpool FC fans can be proud of.

The Spanish success has been mainly due to the brilliance of our very own Scouseglatico's. Nando, Alonso, Villa, Reina and Arbeloa have all been crucial to the Spanish system and Aragones should be grateful to Rafa's for his ability to unearth players with raw talent and turn them into worldbeaters.

As a club we should be extremely proud of our boys. Once again we've demonstrated what a unstoppable force we are in Europe and I have no doubt we will build on this success in the coming season; this trophy will be the first of many.

Well done lads, you showed the likes of Ronaldo and his bum chum Nani what real European pedigree is!

Im preparing a in depth review of our players performance throughout the tournament- stay tuned.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Arsenal and Liverpool up for some Arshavin.

Cesc Fabregas knows that Spain will have to stop Arshavin tomorrow night if they want to progress to the finals of Euro 2008, however the Arsenal midfielder is excited about the prospect of Arshavin in the Arsenal dressing room next season.

"We have a good spirit in the dressing room" He told Marca.

"When I first joined Ashley (Cole), Freddie (Ljundberg) and myself would play keepy uppy in the shower for ages.

"Not it looks as there will be some Arshavin in there as well. However, I’m not thinking about that now".

"Tommorrow night we plan to stop Arshavin altogther. We are under no illusions it will be hard for Senna, Xavi and myself to stop Arshavin in midfield, but we can't afford let Arshavin get near our defence as we feel Carlos (Gorilla) Puyol will have a tough time with Arshavin one on one.

Meanwhile, Liverpool owner George Gillette has also join the race for Arshavin.
Eighteenfive understands that Gillette is keen to sign the Russian to promote his Gillette Razor line of product. The new slogan will be "Gillette: The best Arshavin a man can get".

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

News Update

Crouch Out, Villa In

Its been a bit quiet on the Liverpool front recently. It seems Rafa is keeping his cards close to his chest, to prevent our rivals from back-dooring us.

However Peter "the robot" Crouch will be sold for an estimated £15million+, providing Rafa with a few more pennies to play around with. With this money in the bank, we will be able to finally complete the transfer of David Villa from Valencia FC.

Eighteenfive can reveal that talks are at an advanced stage with personal terms already agreed, and Villa looks certain to join Rafa's premiership title charge within the coming weeks. With Kaka unavailable this summer, Rafa may also swoop for Villa's highly rated team mate, winger David Silva.

These two players would take our attacking game to a level never seen in the Premier League. Lets hope those gready yanks provide Rafa withthe money he deserves.


Stadium-a-go-go

In other news, work on our new Stadium has begun. So far builders have started the "enabling works." For those of you who have no architectural background (unlike myself) this involves the removal of litter from the site, placement of street cones and the arrival of several porta-loo cabins. Great news indeed!

Expect more updates as the news comes.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Congratulations Bestie's Liver

(aka Munich, Icy Runway, anonymous etc)

On being voted eighteenfive's number one cretin. The vote was unanimous, the first time anyone has got 100% in a poll.

Perhaps now you can explain why your IP address shows up being from Manchester?

Oh yes, it was a clever ruse while it lasted. Pretending to be a Liverpool supporter not happy with our award winning, controversial style of journalism, threatening to get us shut down so the truths would not be exposed.

Keep this up and you'll surely win poster of the month. Especially as Uncle Colin is absent having won a scholarship to go study at a major US university for a year.

Perhaps now though, you'll come clean, having being exposed for the fraud you are.

Still waiting to here from fair trading BTW.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Welcome Stevie

aka Carra's mate, Stevie has inside knowledge to the goings on at Melwood and Anfield. Hence why he's now working for eighteenfive.

A belated welcome to eighteenfive Stevie.

In other goings on, me, Scouse Dave is still on holidays on the beautiful Island of Kos. You mancs may have heard of it, it's in Greece, where you almost were last year. Unlike ourselves who were in the capital Athens, where a bunch of Milan supporters, dressed as LFC supporters, tried to steal tickets of our fans and tried to jib in, thus meaning genuine LFC supporters where locked out.


In this picture you can see what's clearly an Italian with a black jacket trying to punch a genuine LFC fan whilst stepping on another LFC supporters hand after grabbing his ticket.

UEFA are yet to investigate this travesty and the fact that the game was played in a dilapidated run down stadium with a crappy pitch which favoured the long-ballers Milan and did not enable LFC to apply their total football philosophy.

Scouse Dave has better memories of Greece this time though. With one week gone and another week to go on his holiday. Dave has already banged six hot Swedish birds, three dutch girls, two Spanish milfs and two local Greek lasses.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

NEWSFLASH: Scum fans burn their Ronaldo shirts

Eighteenfive has received unconfirmed reports of Mancheater United fans burning their Ronaldo shirts outside Old Toilet. This despicable behaviour comes as Christiano Gonealdo confirmed his desire to pursue his “dream move” away from Manchester. The Portuguese striker claims he is not prepared to let the drunken Scotsman stand in his way, regardless of his snooker table related antics, news that is certain to put Fergie into Hairdryer mode.


Hundreds of Mancheater United fans gathered to witness the mass burning of their former hero’s shirts and Manchester Metropolitan Police had to be brought in to control the raging Manc hooligans. This sordid act truly highlights the glory hunting and unappreciative attitude of Mancheater United fans. Ronaldo single handedly carried Manchester United to the Premier League title this year, putting in some first class minnow bashing performances and winning numerous dodgy penalties. Yet the scum have now turned on their former hero in an attempt to make his departure as unpleasant as possible, literally burning all bridges with their former superstar. However they will soon pay for their pathetic deeds as the coming season will surely see them struggle to make the Champions League places.


These dreadful scenes were reminiscent of 2005, when Everton fans attempted to deface the name of our great club. Bitter Blues posing as Liverpool supporters infiltrated Anfield and then burned Steven Gerrard Liverpool shirts in a devious attempt to push our loyal captain out of the club. Fortunately the attempt was a complete failure as Steven “Mr Liverpool” Gerrard immediately restated his commitment to Rafa’s 5 year plan, confirming his long-term future at the club. Thankfully a loyal band of True Reds managed to catch up with the Bitter Blue culprits and taught them a lesson they’ll never forget.


We Liverpool supporters can be grateful that our fans would never stoop to this sort of mindless behaviour.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Dive Watch officially ends

Eighteenfive is pleased to announce the end of this years Euro 2008 Dive Watch.


Tonight’s Euro 2008 Quarter Final in Basle saw the exit of Portugal at the hands of the Germans in a 3-2 thriller. The result means that we will no longer have the displeasure of witnessing the stupidly overrated Christiano Gonealdo and his bum chum Nani throwing themselves to the ground whenever a opposition player comes within a 1 metre radius.

Ronaldo, who as per usual was crying like a little girl at the end of the match, will be comforted by news that he just edged countryman Nani to eighteenfives prestigious "biggest diver of EURO 08." title. The Portuguese and Mancheater United striker notched up an impressive 31 dives in 3 matches firmly establishing himself as the BDITW (biggest diver in the world).

Fortunately we won’t have to watch this cheating bastard in the Premier League next season. Through our inside contacts, eighteenfive can reveal that the striker will complete a £35 million move to Real Madrid within the next week, provided he can avoid the clutches of Ferguson’s mafia and the drunken Scotsman’s dreaded snooker table.


This transfer merely confirms the imminent arrival of our 19th English League title next summer. The Mancs will be utterly helpless without their grade 1 minnow basher and Fergie can be relied upon to waste his new transfer kitty on players such as Diego Forlan, Anderson and the Djemba twins. This combined with Arsenal mental weaknesses and Scolari's forthcoming incompetent reign at Chelsea, means nothing will be able to stand in the way of the Mighty Reds next season.

The futures bright, the futures Liverpool.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Legal Update


The EighteenFive legal team is still awaiting news from TS regarding the defamation of our fine site by Scum Fans pretending to be fans of the Mighty Reds.

We are also preparing our own legal case regarding the defamation by some of these people who falsely accused us of committing crimes and of being Scumchester Supporters - a disgusting and vile accusation.

We deny any accusation that we are Scum Fans, and even more strongly deny any accusation that we have committed any crimes related to this site. Our personal criminal records show no history of fraud or anything else of that nature, and we take these lies very seriously as attacks on our character and of that of our glorious football club (named Number One In The World by UEFA). We assure our readers that we will not tolerate these lies and that we will continue to provide the highest quality of analysis of our great footy team.

Winning the Summer is the first step to winning the league...

We all know that the season to come will be one of the most successful in Liverpool Football Club's great history. Circa1892 dealt with this most eloquently on RAWK - the article can be found here. What we don't always keep in mind is how important winning the close season is to winning of the league.

Last year United, Arsenal, and Chelsea were all very lucky. They had poor close seasons (again) while Liverpool once again signed a combination of experienced talent (Fernando Torres) and youthful geniuses (Fernando Torres). In spite of this the referees of the Premier League decided to stand in the way of LFC's pursuit of Number 19.

This season the refs won't be able to do enough to deny us, and come next May we will all look to our successful close season as the key to winning the league.

We all know of the successes of Benitez in the transfer window - he has brought in more new players than any other manager in the last four years - so instead of treading that same ground again, lets take a look at our competitors.

First Scumchester DisUnited. Cristiano Ronaldo - who cheated his way to fewer home goals than Fernando Torres - is desperately trying to get out from the drunk dictator's corrupt cheating club. United is a sinking ship. Their only reason (aside from the refs) for the little bit of success they have had in the last 18 years is senile and getting ready to retire. Their top player wants out. Their transfer policy is a joke - how many games did Nani, Anderson, and the overrated Hargreaves get in their team? Nowhere near as many as some of our top transfers.

Ferguson has kept Ronaldo from being the player he would have been under Houllier and Benitez, and his choice to play for the scum ranks right up there with Nemanja Vidic's choice to reject Benitez as the stupidest transfer decision of the decade. It worked out best for us because we ended up with Mrtn Skrtl and Jermaine Pennant - by far the best at their positions in the Premier League, perhaps in the whole world. But make no mistake, United are a one man team, and without Ronaldo they will be weaker than in 2002 (when we finished second ahead of Manchester United). Even if Ferguson chains Ronaldo to Old Trashford, they have serious problems. For a start, they fear Liverpool more than they have in years.

We all saw how Torres masterfully destroyed Rio Ferdinand at Old Trashford. Next year Torres will be even more experienced, and Rio will be that much older and slower. The same story goes for all of their players. Another year on the legs of the likes of Neville, Giggs, Fletcher, and Welbeck will tell itself to United's detriment. They will be lucky to scrape fourth.

Arsenal require even less analysis. Arsenal are mentally weak and have no chance of winning anything next season. When the going gets tough they collapse. This is dramatically different from the Mighty Reds, who peak in the spring with strong finishes in each of the last eighteen seasons. They will be lucky to scrape fourth.

Chelsea is now on the cusp of real trouble. With the appointment of Scolari, they have shown that they don't want to play football but are content to play 10-0-0 and snatch a goal on the counterattack (with help from the ref). That kind of football wins you nothing. With Kuyt and Torres at their peaks, we will be unstoppable, whereas even at the best possible case Chelsea will be looking to the likes of Deco and Ronaldinho to spark them on - and we all know how poor those two are. They will be lucky to scrape fourth.

This comprehensive analysis shows how important it is to Win the Close Season in order to win the league, and that Liverpool are far and away the masters of the Close Season.

We've already won the Close Season, now it is time to seal the deal.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

eighteenfive legal battle update

Our accuser, commonly known as "Munich, "Besties Liver" or "annonymous", has already claimed victory in his ongoing attempt to bring down eighteenfive. In a recent barrage of unconstructive abuse directed at the eighteenfive team, the individual confidently remarked "I've already won fruitcake."

Eighteenfive can only assume he has won some kind of fruitcake prize (perhaps in a local raffle) or he used the word as a derogatory term. If it’s the later it seems he has indeed claimed victory over eighteenfive and we have no other option but to shut-up-shop and commence a desperate escape to Panama, where we hope to set up the first ever eighteenfive megastore.

I've already packed my bags, but before fleeing our beloved Liverpool we will await for confirmation of his victory from his legal representatives. Fortunately, as of yet we have received no such contact. Until that time I'd like to reassure eighteenfive fans that we will continue to operate as normal, bringing you entertaining and factual articles about the greatest football team in the world.

Thanks


-eighteenfive Legal Team


ps. if anyone knows of any cheap flights to Panama (or other countries that harbour wanted criminals), preferably departing from John Lennon Airport please let me know. Thanks in advance.

ITS ON: my eighteenfive warcry


This is a message to all the Arsenal, Hull City, Mancheater United fans who seemed to think my predictions for the Premier League were funny:


We aren’t just any football team. We are the mighty Liverpool Football Club. The most historic, well respected team in the world and number one team in Europe as voted for by UEFA. We have a record that all you pathetic wannabes strive match, but fail. The talk of lesser teams overtaking our records makes me chuckle: it ain’t gonna happen!

Rafa is one season away from starting another period of European and domestic domination. In Lucas and Skrtel we have the two best prospects in the world. Add to that the likes of Gerrard, Mascherano, Torres (BPITW) and Kuyt and you have the strongest starting line up in the Premiership. The signings of Villa and/or Quaresma will be the final pieces in Rafa's 5 year masterplan and will herald a new period of unmatched success.

Rafa's Reds are coming and no one will stand in our path. We at Liverpool FC have thrown down the gauntlet to the "pretenders," and yet again you will come up short.

This is Liverpool FC...
this is Anfield...
...this is our Year.


YNWA 18-5

oh and Fergie, Scolari and Wenger can suck my left one.